Clients come to me with many circumstances and thoughts. The difference between them is that circumstances are truths we can all agree upon whereas thoughts are just sentences in our brains that interpret the circumstances.
Our brains want to tell us these thoughts are truths. It creates safety and comfort to believe we are right. Yet these thoughts may be holding us back from our dreams and relationships. And sometimes it only takes one word to change the trajectory of these relationships and dreams.
Thoughts are the source of all feelings. We cannot experience any feeling without first having a thought. And all actions we do or don’t take in our lives come from these feelings. It’s called the think-feel-do cycle. So our thoughts ultimately drive the actions we take to create our lives and the results we achieve.
Let’s take a look at how this can work.
Last week I had a parent come to me because she believes she cannot accept her son as gay. He has moved in with his partner who is kind and loving but unacceptable for being a man. She doesn’t know how to tell her family or prepare to attend family events together.
These things were very true to her. She was experiencing sadness, fear and overwhelm from these thoughts. She told me the stories as if she was telling me the weather. But what she told me was just that- stories. The only facts she gave me were that she had a son and that he had moved in with another man who he calls his partner. Everything else is her interpretation.
Her story was so strong but she wanted a moment of relief, to feel a sense of hope that things could be different for her, for their relationship. Knowing that thoughts are the source of all feelings, I knew she needed a new set of thoughts to practice, ones she could believe and practice. Because her beliefs were so strong, we needed to choose something so slightly different yet so profound that her feelings could change in a moment. And all she needed was one word.
This profound word can turn your doubts into possibility, your roadblocks into challenges.
– I cannot accept my son’s sexuality.
– I don’t know how to interact with my son’s partner.
– I don’t know if I want to tell my family.
– I don’t know how to attend family events together.
– I cannot accept my son’s sexuality… yet.
– I don’t know how to interact with my son’s partner… yet.
– I don’t know if I want to tell my family… yet.
– I don’t know how to attend family events together… yet.
Do you see the difference? In the first set of thoughts there was no room for possibility, no room for curiosity about whether it was even possible for things to be any different than they were. Now there is room to consider whether she wants to do things different, to consider different ways of thinking, feeling and acting. She is more likely to approach her son with an open line of communication and leaves room for growth.
The word yet added to any thoughts of impossibility opens doors to a crack of light in the darkness. Just one word changes the thought completely. Because thoughts are the source of our feelings, actions and ultimately what we achieve in life, one word could completely change everything in a moment.
Try it out. Look for where you are telling yourself stories. Write down the story. Ask yourself what’s actually true and what’s just a thought. Then try shifting a single thought by one word. Feel into it. Can you feel the power you hold within such a small shift in your mind?
Our minds are powerful tools. If you’d like to take this work deeper, drop me an email at email@example.com. It would be my honor to help you create the life and relationships of your dreams.