Asking Good Questions

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You know what the brain loves to do? Answer questions. Try it. It will answer.

  • “Why am I so stupid?”
  • “Why can’t I get this parenting thing right?”
  • “What did I do to make this happen?”

In all its wisdom, the brain will provide you with a multitude of answers, kinda like Google. So what would it be like to catch the question, rephrase it and ask

  • “How could I be happier?”
  • “What’s going right?”
  • “I don’t like this outcome. What could I do differently?”

Do you see the difference? Higher quality questions will get higher quality results. A great one to start with is “What am I thinking?” A lot of times we find out we’ve been having a lot of negative thoughts we didn’t even know were there. It’s a great place to start doing some mental housecleaning. You’re getting a great look at why you’re tired, frustrated, burnt out or getting results you weren’t wanting.

Next would be “Why am I choosing to think this?” This reminds our brains that all thoughts are optional and gives us the opportunity to examine other thoughts.

Third is “How is this thought making me feel?” This is another great insight into connecting our thoughts and feelings.

This same principle works with our kids. Asking higher quality questions will yield higher quality answers.

Some questions I ask myself regularly are:

  • “How am I going to make this day amazing?”
  • “How do I want to feel today and what do I need to think to make that happen?”
  • “What do I want to create today?”
  • “What do I want to do differently tomorrow?”
  • Some questions I ask my kids regularly are:
  • “How would you like to do that differently next time?”
  • “What do you think someone with a different brain might think about that?”
  • “Is that decision going to get you closer to where you ultimately want to go?”
  • “How can I help you?”

Go forth… ask that bodacious brain of yours some better questions. Let me know where they take you!

Have a question for me? Email me at

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