Are You Living By Default or Design?

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If you aren’t prioritizing the moments of your life, who is?

If you haven’t scheduled out what is important, someone else is placing something equally important into it. But it’s not what is important to you and you will never find a place for what’s important to you if you let everyone fill up your time first.

This is living by default.

Making the choice to consider our priorities and place them into our schedule is living by design.

We often think of choice as a thing. But choice is not a thing. The options we may be choosing between may be things, but a choice is an action.

We may not have control over our options but we always have control over the choice.

I often hear parents say “I don’t have a choice” in regards to doing homework with their children, doing laundry, driving them to activities. But they do. It is a choice between doing the homework and not doing the homework, doing the laundry and not doing the laundry, driving them to an activity, having someone else do it or dropping the activity.

There is absolutely a choice in each of those situations. Just because we do not like the options or the potential consequences of those options does not mean we do not have a choice.

When we don’t see that we have options, we forget that we have the ability to choose. It is important for us to recognize these choices so that we can exercise our brain and teach it to identify options as well as make choices. As well, by recognizing the components of choice, we begin to become more intentional about our choices and thus gain control over our life.

We ask our children to make choices and learn how to set priorities. Yet how can we ask this of them when we haven’t learned to do it for ourselves?

They observe us feeling powerless and without choice. They do not see a model for identifying options and making a conscious choice in the use of our time and resources. We expect them to know when to seek support yet we don’t demonstrate how its done.

When you feel powerless without the option of choice, stop for a moment and determine what the options are. Recognize that you are not trapped. You may or may not like the decision you are making. You may have been living by default, allowing others to determine what your choice is before you even considered there were other options.

What is it you want to prioritize in this moment, this day and this week? Take some time today to really consider this before identifying the choices in front of you.

Without spending this time, someone else will decide your priorities for you and fill up your time. Do you want to live from this default or from the place where you are designing the life you want?

This is a major challenge for many of my clients.

It takes practice.

But the practice is so worth it. We learn how to create a life we love. And we learn the skills to pass on to our kids.

If you’d like help in learning this skill, email me at sarah@sarahkennedycoaching.com . It would be my honor to connect with you and help you create the life of your dreams.

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